Hojas de Inspiración

Five Steps to Deep Communication (by Paula Janín)

Esta es una foto de naturaleza

Vishnu Bill Hulse. billhulse14@gmail.com


In reality we resonate so deeply with each other that communicating would only be to make apparent what the other person already knows.

After finishing my studies in Social Communications, the time arrived to make a reflection and write my thesis. Then I realized that after having studied this subject matter, or even having had the experience of working in the media, did not guarantee that I could really establish a deep and effective way of communicating. At that time I wrote: “How can we boast about being social communicators, if we cannot truly communicate with those around us?”.

Later on, while attending the training to become a specialist in Organizational Constellations, I attended some workshops where little by little I became aware of the phenomenon of the “representation” of my being. I could perceive, as I was sitting beside someone, their deepest emotions, desires, and impulses, those that came from the soul. I understood with my body that the information about who we are is there, all around us.

Then I asked myself: What if communicating from a deep place with others or those around us was not only a challenge for communicators or constellators, but for all human beings?

I continued to search, read, listen (preparing a “compost”), until I understood the importance of “living”, of my daily life with my family, in my work, with my garden, among my friends, even in the places I visited and the relationships I did and did not choose to have.

It is from this place, of questions, answers and experiences that I would like to share these five steps to achieving a deeper communication in each meeting with others and in our surroundings.

  1. Breathe: To “secure” myself to the present moment. I sense the context, I take advantage of blinking to concentrate on the sounds that surround me; I inhale aromas; I connect with my skin to feel the temperature; I rub my fingers or run them over any nearby surface; I look at what surrounds me as if it were a camera that records everything. I fill myself with the consciousness of each space of the here and now.
  1. Feeling: Perceiving myself. Perhaps, with a single glance towards my interior in response to the question: “how am I?”, is enough. Without prejudice, I register what my emotions are, how my energy is. I can visualize images or words that represent my state.
  1. I sense the other person: I use the previous steps as stages to perceive the other person. I use eye contact and connect with the sensations that I begin to receive. Again, without prejudice, without thinking if it is my imagination or what it is, I give free rein to what comes. I can experience feelings, colors and internal images. Everything is valid and everything has a meaning.
  1. I listen well: I focus on listening to what the other person tells me, even in their silence. Each person has their style and their desires, that is why understanding is left outside of the play, as Joan Garriga says: “We do not understand each other, but what seems to me a solution is that we stop trying. It is better not to try to understand the incomprehensible. It is also an achievement to surrender to the mystery of the other person.” Here we move up to the next step with the strength of respect and acceptance of what it is, what I hear, as it is and not as I would like it to be.
  1. I resonate and transcend: I feel that all the contacts we have are for some reason and have within them a seed that is a treasure. That is why I invite you here to have a deep reflection, a space out of time to find, reconnect and communicate with yourself. It is an opportunity to open the door to the mystery of life.

Perhaps we will not understand at that moment the meaning of the encounter that we have just lived, but we do have in our hands the possibility of allowing that seed to fall into the fertile soil of our being. Over time, the sense will emerge and we will be able to see the reason for that connection: why we “saw” that man with eyes full of tears sitting in his car waiting for the green light; why this person, we were thinking of, called us to tell us exactly what we needed to hear; why that abandoned house on “San Lorenzo Street” produced us so much nostalgia; why we had just this moment, talking with this person; why that day our boss chose those words, or why the grandparent’s words still resonate inside of us.

When the seed of that deep communication begins to germinate, it is possible that we may find ourselves with the necessity of synthesizing what has been experienced. In my case, I understand it to be an essential act to finish by embodying it into myself, and thereby closing this infinite circle of the act of exchange. So I then turn to my pen, notebook and words. Everyone will explore this decantation process in their own way, through art, conversation, cooking and or gestures. Thus, in an eternal spiral, communication continues nourishing, growing, transforming, deepening and intertwining us.


Paula Janín

Born in Mendoza, Argentina. Has a degree in Social Communications in the National University of Cuyo. She has received her training in the Enneagram, Family constellations, Tarot, BioNeuroEmotion, amongst others, in the last seven years.

From a young age she has had a love for writing and her texts have been published, in various media outlets such as in the newspaper Los Andes and the magazine Edición U.

About her writing she says: “I admire nature, the human condition, art, beauty, the fluidity of the universe, and my intention is to capture this ephemeral instant when the Soul reveals something that permits it to expand”.

Contact: https://palabrarse.wordpress.com / paujanin@gmail.com

Translation from spanish by: http://www.leavesofinspiration.com


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